Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Untitled.


-------I wrote this two months ago, and never published it. Today, I am twenty weeks and 5 days without a cigarette........


Here I am, yet again.... Blogging with coffee in hand, and chihuahua on lap. I got my hair snipped last week! Close to eight inches. It is crazy, for some reason, it looks longer... I made sushi last night with my honey. It turned out amazing! Not nearly as amazing as spending time with my babe..  

This week will be my twelfth week without a puff of a cigarette! Words can not express how it feels to be a non-smoker after being bound by nicotine for eight and a half years! Everyone asks me how I did it. How could I possibly do it with no patch? No gum? No prescription? With the MILLIONS of smokers, how could I, who was so weak for so many years, be the one who was able to JUST STOP? I remember my last cigarette. I remember the hundreds of "last cigarettes" before, but something was different when I lit this one... I knew, for the first time, I knew, this was my last cigarette.. The closer I got to the end, the more I wanted to put it out.. and I did. I only smoked half of the last cigarette I was ever going to smoke. WHY?! WHY on earth would I only smoke half of this thing I had spent almost half of my life LOVING? Living for?  Why did I not smoke past the filter? This was the last cigarette I was ever going to smoke! Why did I only smoke half???  I was stronger than it. Finally I broke the chains that had so long, tied me down. Now here is the most important part; you can try every method in the world to quit smoking, but you will never be able to do it on your own. But I did it on my own, right? I did not have a crutch. I quit cold turkey. I did it on my own.  I did it for my family. I did it for my loved ones. I did it for my future husband. I did it for my future children. I did it for my future me. But I did NOT do it alone. I did it with God. I did it for God. God has empowered me to do many things in life, but never from me asking for his strength. I asked God for his help. Not to help me quit smoking, but to help me gain the strength to overcome. 


John 8:36 “ So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”




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